(NOTE NATURE, CONTENT) A group of British students were left with a stinky surprise when they woke up one morning to find a turd taped to their door.
Unfortunately, one student from the University of Warwick felt it before spotting it.
“I was leaving my house and went to slam the door. When I did so, my fingers sunk into something soft and sludgy, which startled me. For some reason I assumed it was peanut butter, but on closer inspection I realised it was poo,” he told the Warwick Tab.
The student did not disclose how he determined it was dung — but he did say it wasn’t warm when he touched it.
“My fight or flight kicked in and I let out a primal shriek of disgust,” he continued. “I tried desperately to unlock my door with my other hand, before running inside and dumping half a bottle of soap on the soiled hand while quivering and gagging.”
The building’s owner cleared off the crap and informed the rest of the residents of what happened. Some say they now feel paranoid and believe the incident was “a bit too calculated for a random attack.”
No suspects have been named — but the home does have a security camera so the residents are hopeful they’ll catch the scat scofflaw.
It also hasn’t been determined if the poo was human or animal.