Zoos offer roaches and poop-scented candles for Valentine’s Day

Tired of giving your sweetie boring flowers and candy for Valentine’s Day? Thanks to a couple of U.S. zoos, you have the choice of giving them a hippo poop-scented candle, or naming a roach after them.

For a price, the Bronx Zoo website offers lover’s an opportunity to have a Madagascar hissing cockroach named after their Valentine, as well as gift packages that include roach socks, stuffed roaches and a virtual roach encounter.

“You don’t always have the right words, but you can still give them goosebumps. Name a Roach for your Valentine, because roaches are forever,” reads the the zoo’s sales pitch.

The San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me a Cockroach” program, on the other hand, gives jilted lovers a chance to have a roach, rat or vegetable named for their ex, before it’s fed to another zoo animal.

The zoo is also offering the aforementioned hippo poop candles, which, per its website, are “the cologne of the hippo world” that is “used to impress potential mates.”