This alleged thief hoped to put salt on some stolen meat, but instead put salt in the wound when he found his girlfriend cooking with somebody else.
According to the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office in Florida, Heannys O. Alvarez Reyna is accused of stealing nearly $4,000 worth of meat, including beef, pork and lamb, from two grocery stores. He then took the meat over to his girlfriend’s place, whereupon he discovered that she was already cooking with another man.
Given the context of the story, we’re guessing cooking literally means cooking and isn’t a euphemism for something else. Regardless, Alvarez Reyna reacted to the infidelity, cooking or otherwise, by throwing most of his ill-gotten meat away.
“This wasn’t just a case of someone trying to ‘meat’ their budget,” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly writes in a Facebook post. “This was a calculated, ‘high-steaks operation’ that left two stores with significant losses.”
The sheriff adds, “His relationship may have been past its prime, but stealing isn’t the way to cure what ails you.”