(NOTE LANGUAGE) A TikTok user called iamjmist has gone viral with a list of rules for her funeral — which, thankfully, doesn’t appear to be coming soon.
That said, she apparently wants to be prepared just in case, and to that end, she narrated a list of nine must-haves for when that day comes.
“Rule number one, you must show a picture of us in order to enter,” she opens. “It can be an old picture, a recent picture, but don’t come to my funeral acting like you knew me for real. I don’t deal with fakes in life or death.”
Iamjmist adds, “Number two, I need a light glam. I need a little bit of foundation, lip gloss, maybe a bit of mascara. Even though I am in the casket, I do not need to be casket ready.”
She adds, for three, “no hovering over my casket, I understand you grieving, but get your a** back.”
On a related note: chewing gum, please. “I know I can’t smell no more, but that grieving breath…You going to respect me in death,” she adds.
Other rules include a prohibition on mourners wearing black — “This is not a doomsday death dungeon. Lighten the mood, wear some color” — and an request for drinking and eating during the event; that is, soul food, not finger food.
Oh, and forget the long eulogies. You’ll get the hook after five minutes. “And if you do get on there and lie and say we have all these memories together, I will have somebody there to call you out,” iamjmist advises.
As of Monday morning, her nine rules have been liked over 850,000 times.