Man tries to abduct woman on dog walk, gets face full of dog doo-doo instead

Ladies, just know that if you’re walking with a plastic baggie full of your dog’s waste, you may be walking with a life-saving weapon.

Case in point, ABC affiliate WATE reports that a would-be kidnapper found his face full of the brown stuff when he targeted the wrong woman.

Police say 47-year-old Michael James Ward recently approached a jogger with her pup on a Tennessee dog trail and asked for water. He then grabbed the jogger and punched her multiple times before attempting to drag her deeper into the forest.  

The quick-thinking woman weaponized her full bag of dog poop before things escalated further and smeared it all over Ward’s face.  The woman then attempted to call 911, but she wound up losing her cell phone to her would-be kidnapper, who brandished a knife and demanded she fork it over.  He then ran off into the woods, reportedly escaping by boat.

Ward, who is considered homeless, was later spotted at a convenience store and arrested on two counts: aggravated assault and aggravated robbery.