And he would have gotten away with it, too, if only his lawnmower could go faster than 10 miles per hour.
Dusty Mobley, 40, of Okaloosa County, is facing a litany of charges after being arrested by Florida police, according to ABC affiliate KTUL.
Mobley has a pretty strong rap sheet, with the shenanigans he pulled this year alone beginning on the third day of January. He dove into a swamp by the Yellow River when police tried questioning him about a stolen boat that was valued at $40,000.
He is accused of using heavy machinery to cut a hole into a metal building to steal the pricey boat. Mobley was on the said boat and dove off of it to avoid jail time.
It was a successful gamble and Mobley disappeared into the murky waters, effectively evading police for the next couple of months.
He was finally tracked down on Saturday and, unfortunately, had no water to escape to this time around — so he tried fleeing on his lawnmower. His luck ran out and police managed to use a Taser on him.
Authorities say they discovered he was in possession of a handcuff key, a pipe with meth residue on it and a revolver during his arrest.
Mobley faces multiple felony charges, including felony criminal mischief, possession of a concealed weapon by a felon, grand theft of a vehicle, grand theft and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was booked into Okaloosa County Jail, where he remains held in lieu of bond.