Angry at your ex? This witch will teach you how to bewitch their willy

(NOTE NATURE, CONTENT) Apparently, all you need is a cucumber to inflict supernatural harm onto your ex’s private parts.  That’s according to this one witch on TikTok, anyway.

User @thecrystalpatch, a 22-year-old named ´╗┐Kalei, decided to teach hexology 101 but warned that the only people who should employ her dark knowledge are those who have been abused.

But, since it’s the internet, chances are the honor system is not going to be closely followed.

So, for those who wish to leave a lasting impression on your not-so-favorite person who is also a member of the male species — grab a cucumber and, using a knife, cut a slit down its center.  For a woman, grab something that represents a vagina and do the same.

Kalei says, after that, write your ex’s full name and birthday on a sheet of paper, fold it away from you and stuff it inside the symbolic fruit or veggie.

But, that’s only part of the weenie-cursing ritual.

“Next we’re going to add some chili flakes to make sure his you know burns,” the TikTok witch claims. “Now take a screw, nails, glass, anything sharp and just start sticking it in there.”

Once you think you’ve gotten all that angry energy out, take a string and wrap it around the cucumber so everything stays inside and intact.

“While you’re wrapping the string, make sure you’re doing this with the intention of binding this to this person. Now you’re wanting to give it all of your nasty energy, all of the nasty feelings you have towards that person,” the witch warns. “When you are done, bury it off of your property.”

Have fun with your DIY junk-cursing project.